Below are just a few thoughts in this time I've spent waiting for this baby to make it's appearance. It's rough thoughts, not polished writing, but thoughts that have swirled my brain in the sleepless fog of the last week of pregnancy. I know that all too soon the hormones change from this anxious anticipation to the fogginess of that newborn intoxication. But it's here in the sometimes frustrating waiting that the deep deep appreciation of help and surrounding of love and anticipation of the unknown happens.
In the waiting I've learned a few things. In the waiting I've learned transparency and asking for help and receiving way more than I can give.
I've not even done my own laundry in the past month in a half. I've not cooked a full meal for my family but once or twice.
In this waiting and slowing of anticipation of this baby I've been able to concentrate on relationship and connecting rather than the draining mundane of keeping a household together that at 9.5 months pregnant I would not be able to do at all.
Having help of the grandmas and others around us has given me the freedom to continue to be involved with my kids and connect with friends. It's given me the energy to continue ministry on a smaller, but still very important scale. It's shown me humility and patience for this slightly obsessive girl.
I've grown in girth and in appreciation of those that sacrifice their own time and love for others. This receiving of grace and love both tangible and intangible has confirmed the way we live as a village how we need the transparency of doing someone's dirty laundry and not blinking an eye at doing their dishes. It allows a relationship to go deeper and deeper. It allows a give and take that will possibly be reversed at some point but doesn't need to be reciprocated to be appreciated.
It's the love of a family and of growing that family into a deeper understanding of God's love. Of the love shared and not necessarily blood relation, but the gathering of love and bringing together of emotions and food and preparation for this exciting event happens.